Waivers in marital life

Waivers in marital life

1- In order for any relationship between two human beings to last, one or both of them must make some concessions, and the necessity of concessions from the two parties in marriage is caused by the difference on which God created people, as He did not create them identical copies neither from the physical aspect nor from the psychological aspect. Each man and woman has his features that distinguish him and his mark that characterizes him, for every man and every woman has a set of his own character, and in addition to that is the difference in culture that forms the mentality and thinking of each of them, as no two families are alike in thinking even if the spouses are twin brothers and their wives are twin sisters Their houses were adjacent to each other, and the husband came from one family and the wife came from another family.

As for the personality types, they are many, and what one of them deems necessary and necessary may be seen by the other as an unnecessary increase, and what one likes as a style of behavior, work, or dealing with others, the other may see as neglect and indifference, and to the last examples that can be enumerated of different temperaments, so it will not succeed Marriage unless each of the spouses sees the positive side in the qualities that he does not like in the other, and this is what we call: acceptance, and only if each of them concedes and does not demand the other to adopt his nature and change in order to match him, but each of them changes a little and some to get closer to the other And this is renunciation, and if renunciation is combined with acceptance, the marriage succeeds, no matter how different the nature is.

Then it is necessary to waive the two parties when a dispute, conflict and disagreement occurs, because the marital disputes must be resolved in such a way that each of them achieves some gains, and this is only if each of them waives some concession, so what the husband waives is a gain for the wife, and what the wife waives is a gain for the husband.

2- There is no gender more inclined to make concessions than another, the willingness for that exists in husbands as it exists in wives, but the important thing is the smart way in which we make concessions, so that the other party rushes to reward us by making concessions on its part, and the saying of the Arab woman to her daughter who submitted to Marriage: “Be a female slave to him and he will be a slave to you” is a true saying that expresses this truth.

3- There is no minimum limit for waiver and no upper limit for the spouses, because the relationship between them is one of affection and mercy, and from affection and mercy there is humiliation without humiliation, it is humiliation from mercy and not humiliation from contempt and arrogance. There is no shame in humiliation of mercy and affection, but rejected humiliation is humiliation that results from the arrogance of one of them over the other and disrespect for him, and everyone who has the ability to preserve his dignity must preserve it, because contempt and contempt are incompatible with love and mercy, and they deviate from the relationship to enmity and hatred.

4- When one of the two parties feels that he has conceded more than he should, and has not received anything in return for that, he feels injustice and injustice and accumulates anger in himself, which with time forms a barrier between hearts, and leads to cold emotions and love disappears behind this barrier, and the party that always concedes is a concession. One party gets the satisfaction of the other party, but he is not happy, and he may suffer from psychological depression if he has a predisposition to this disease.

 5- Mutual waiver is always required, but it is not required. Rather, it is completely rejected if the waiver means falling into a clear forbidden agreement agreed upon by the jurists, or it is a waiver of what a person does not have the right to waive, such as one of the spouses giving up the rights of his children to please the unjust and transgressive second party. It is not preferable to waive except out of goodwill and real satisfaction, and not to be a waiver caused by shyness, weakness, and inability to assert oneself and protect oneself and its rights. It leaves in the same condescending party a feeling of anger, hatred and injustice.